


we're just kids setting stuff on fire

by Marshmellow (orphan_account), sirrylot



Series: as we stumble along. [2]
Category: The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Growing Up, KidsVerse, M/M, gillian is sirrylot aw cute, special thanks: gillian for headcanon bashing for the past 2 yrs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 12:11:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3249182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Marshmellow, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirrylot/pseuds/sirrylot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few blocks away from Toccoa Lane, just far enough for their lives to be separate until middle school, the kids of Pacific Avenue form their own clique.</p><p>Or....snapshots of growing up on Pacific Avenue.</p><p>(Because we felt like Toccoa Lane was so creative that we gave up all hope for The Pacific guys and just gave them the most basic street name possible)</p>
            </blockquote>





	we're just kids setting stuff on fire

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter of The Pacific end of things!!!!!! I had this written literally two years ago, but I never finished it so I went back and revamped it so here we are.  
> There's only a few boys involved in this one, but I like baby Snafu so much.
> 
> Ages:  
> Sid, Sledge, Merriell - 6  
> Lena - 15  
> John -14

At the age of six, Merriell Shelton only spoke to two people. Or at least he only spoke to two people in audible words. The boys and girls living on Pacific Avenue dubbed him Merri, because apparently Merriell was too much of a mouthful. They always ended up saying ‘Mural’ instead. But in the end, it didn’t really matter since Merri never protested.

Merri was only in kindergarten, but he knew about that thing called love. His mama showed him Lion King when he was four, and back then he’d been so sure that love always had a happy ending. Nala and Simba worked it out, couldn’t everybody? Two weeks later, when his daddy had gone, he knew that love actually was just a fairy tale. He was six years old, and he already knew he didn’t really like what everyone called ‘love’. Daddies were supposed to love mamas, so he thought. And if Merri’s daddy couldn’t even love his mama, what was the hope for him? He’d given up on love before he turned five. They moved to a little house on Pacific Avenue and Merriell hid behind his mother’s knees while she introduced herself to their new neighbors.

Louise was kind and gentle, the only solace Merri truly had. She held him close when he came home visibly upset from his first day at kindergarten, scared of all the new people and kids who didn’t understand why he barely spoke. He didn’t tell her about the bullying. It made him sad to think about, and it would make his mama sad too.

None of the Pacific Avenue boys laughed, although that didn’t help much. They didn’t know. Merri supposed he’d get used to the taste of woodchips. He wanted to tell this to Eugene, all about how he didn’t like being left in the dirt when the Pacific boys weren’t looking, but Eugene was always with Sid and Merri didn’t want Sid to know. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Sid, he had cool car toys and shared them and was sorta funny when he wanted to be. Merri just didn’t want anyone but Eugene to hear his secrets. Eugene wouldn’t run and tell, and sometimes Eugene even made it seem like Merri’s little qualms mattered.

But it wasn’t as though Merriell was mute, he was just painfully shy. The only two people Merri ever held extended conversations with were his mama and Eugene Sledge, the little auburn haired boy down the street. He was kind. Eugene knew how to keep secrets, and he was one of the best listeners Merri knew. Merri considered Eugene his best friend. Sometimes he wondered if Eugene considered him his best friend too. Well, besides Sid. Always besides Sid.

But if you asked who his favorite person was besides his mama, and if he happened to answer, Merri would probably say Lena Riggi.

Lena never ignored him, even though he never really said anything to her, not even for Johnny Basilone. Sometimes, when his mama was at work and Lena and John were babysitting some of the crew, he hid with her and she didn’t mind. He could curl up on her lap, and she would let him, her hands combing through his hair providing a different sort of comfort than his mama. John would look on, smiling softly and beaming, before Billy and Bobby would start fighting and draw his attention away. Sometimes Merri was selfish; sometimes he liked Lena all to himself.

Especially on nights like this.

It was just Sid, Eugene, and Merri. Although, most nights Merri needed babysitting, so he was usually included in the mass of group babysitting. Lena and John said they didn’t mind, and Louise could never thank them enough. She was a nurse, working every shift she could to make up for the loss of a second income. If it wasn’t for Lena and John, she feared she would have to cut her hours in half. She made sure to tip the pair well for their duties.

It was early on a Friday night, just past six. The boys were gathered at the Sheltons’, seeing as he may be the one who needed babysitting the longest. Louise wouldn’t be home for another four hours at least, and the Phillipses and Sledges were out on the town. Edward Sledge was out at a sleepover, which made Eugene insist that they all have a sleepover of their own.

Merri just wanted his mama to come home. Instead of voicing his complaints, he curled up on the couch next to Lena, burrowing into her side. She looked down at him, smiling sweetly and holding him close.

“What’s wrong, Merri? You missin’ your mom?”

Merri shook his head, watching as Sid and Eugene played Connect Four. John eventually settled down with them, helping out Eugene who was taking too long to decide where to put his blue coins. Sid eventually got four yellow circles in a row, causing Eugene and John to groan in unison.

“You sunk our battleship!”

“Battleship?” Eugene giggled. “But we’re playing Connect Four! There aren’t any battleships!”

“Well, I bet I could make my hippo eat more than your hippo in Hungry Hungry Hippos.”

“But I always have the hungriest hippo!” Sid objected.

“Prove yourself, young sir!” John boomed jovially, causing Sid and Eugene to burst into giggles as John took them on a journey to find the Hungry Hungry Hippos game in the depths of the Shelton game closet.

“Why don’t you join them?”

“No, thank you.”

“You just want to stay on the couch?”

Merri nodded, hiding his face in her neck. Lena kissed his forehead softly, wondering just what was upsetting him. He always seemed somehow quieter the smaller the group was, especially when it was just Eugene and Sid. She never could find out why, Merri would never say, although she had her suspicions. Sometimes she wished she had the special ability his mother and Eugene had to make him explain. The only reason she and John knew that Merri talked extensively to Eugene was because half of Eugene’s sentences start with “Mer says...” or some variation. Lena was convinced he was a closet chatterbox.

Lena shook Merri slightly, an idea forming in her head. He yawned widely, rubbing his big eyes and staring up at her in partial annoyance.

“Hey, want to go make some hot cocoa?”

Merri blinked at her, face immediately lightening up. “With marshmallows?”

The question was something of an accomplishment that Lena was unashamedly proud of. She bopped his nose and said, “Of course!” Lena stood up, brushing herself off and offering a hand to Merri. In return, he simply raised his arms and waited, blinking again and keeping his tiny smile on his face. The small gesture warmed Lena’s heart, and she couldn’t help but pick him up and carry him to the kitchen, despite the fact he was fully capable of doing it himself.

“I have an old recipe my grandmother gave me. It’s delicious. John always drinks at least five cups every time I make it, and then some. Steals my mug as well.” Lena shakes her head. “He’s lucky my mom loves him so much, or else she’d be slapping his hands away left and right.”

Merri said nothing, but Lena didn’t expect him to. She loved talking to Merri because he listened, but never judged in the way children do or at least if he did he never voiced it. It was refreshing in a way, not having to worry about talking too much or saying the wrong thing. Merri’s silence was never awkward; it was instead comfortable and calm.

She mentally went through the recipe she’d used for so many years, setting Merri on the counter as she began to search for items.

“We start off with cocoa powder...”

Half an hour later, the two were covered in brown powder and Merri was giggling for the first time all night. Sometimes, his lack of emotions at such a young age worried Lena, but then there’s times where he seemed just like any other six year old. Bouncing up and down at his kitchen table, Merri was acting his age for the first time in a while. It warmed Lena deeply.

Lena was singing along to the radio as she stirred the pot on the stove. She urged Merri to dance with her, and he did. While she let the hot liquid cool, she picked him up and twirled around the kitchen to the oldies station.

“I’ll bet you say, what can make me feel this way? My Mer, My Mer, talking bout...my Mer...” She sang, slightly off tune but it didn’t exactly matter to either of them. Merri smiled widely when she improvised her own lyrics. To Lena’s astonishment, he even joined in quietly. John appeared by the doorway with Sid and Eugene in tow, sniffing around.

“Is that the Riggi recipe for hot cocoa I smell?” John said knowingly. Sid and Eugene bounced up and down excitedly at the mention of hot cocoa.

“Sure is. The Sheltons’ here had everything I needed for a pan of yummy yummy in your tummy.” Lena tickled Merri’s stomach as she talked, eliciting another laugh.

“I want Lena to hold me up like that!” Eugene said reaching his hands up. “Can I be up high too?”

Merri held on tightly to Lena, shaking his head fervently. Lena reassured him that he was just fine, petting his head and swaying side to side slowly. She wanted to preserve his social mood for as long as possible. “Merri’s seemed to mark his territory, but maybe Johnny will pick you up if you ask nicely.”

Eugene lowered his hands, staring all the while at Merri, who had turned his head to look at the boys. Eugene cocked his head to the side, wondering why Merri won’t share.

Before the boys could think too much on it, John picked up Sid and Eugene around their waists and carried them into the living room, despite their objections. They squealed loudly, kicking their feet.

“But I want hot cocoa!” Sid whined. Eugene made a noise of agreement and John kindly explained to them that they were going to get some, they were just going to set up a movie first and let Lena and Merri finish up making the cocoa. This calmed them and the whining was instead replaced by an argument over whether to watch Emperor’s New Groove or Cars.

Just as Lena came in with a tray of hot cocoa, Merri ambling in behind her, they compromised on Pocahontas. Eugene loved her pretty hair and Sid loved the battle scenes, so it was a win-win.

Merri, as expected, curled up once again with his head on Lena’s stomach. John looked on from where Sid and Eugene separated him from Lena, his eyes bright and a smile spreading across his face. He leaned over and whispered, “You’re cute when you act motherly.” She smacked him playfully, not even trying to fight back her smile.

“You only love me for my cocoa.”

“Well, it’s a good incentive, ain’t it boys?” He nodded at Eugene and Sid who donned hot cocoa mustaches. They smiled in unison, nodding happily and pretending to know what ‘incentive’ meant.

Merri suddenly felt like he was looking in from the outside of a fishbowl. He didn’t say anything, only burrowed further into Lena’s side. She looked down and brushed his short curls with her fingers, trying to calm him before he could get worked up.

Everything seemed to be going fine until Kocoum died and Merri was in tears. He clutched onto Lena tightly, whimpering slightly as they carried Kocoum’s body away. A few minutes later, he was well near hysterics.

Eugene and Sid were staring as Lena tried to calm him, whispering that he was okay and everything would be alright.

“Shhh....”

“Merri?” Eugene asked, concern in his young voice. “What’s wrong?”

Merri didn’t say anything. He just cried, and cried, and cried until it got to the point that Lena had to take him out of the room. John tried to get up to follow them, but Lena stopped him and said she would take care of it. John was reluctant to let her, but he couldn’t argue when she had her mama bear face on. After they left, Eugene turned to John.

“Johnny, why is Mer crying?”

“Yeah, Johnny, why’s he so sad?” Sid echoed.

“Johnny-”

“Johnny-”

“Just watch the movie, guys.” John’s voice was nowhere near scolding, but Sid and Eugene turned back to the TV as though it had been. John sighed. These children...“He’ll be okay, I promise.”

 

As they ascended to Merri’s room, Lena rubbed his back soothingly and told him he’d be just fine. She had a strong feeling Merri wasn’t listening.

“Can you please tell me what’s wrong?”

Merri shook his head, still crying steadily. He attempted in vain to wipe his tears away.

“Please, Merriell, I know you don’t like talking but it’s just me and you, okay? You can trust me. I won’t tell anyone, not even John.”

Merri cried a little harder, and Lena sat on his bed, pulling him onto her lap. She curled up against his headboard and hummed softly in his ear.

“I don’t wanna be Kocoum.” Merri’s voice was soft.

“Honey, you’re not going to be him, you’re not going to die...”

“I don’t wanna be Kocoum!” He cried.

“I know, sweetie, I know...” Lena held him closer. “It’s alright. I promise.”

“He loved Pocahontas.” Merri said into Lena’s neck. “He loved her and she didn’t love him the same. Why not?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t wanna be Kocoum.”

Lena was beginning to understand the boy who seemed aged far beyond six years. It wasn’t just that he was afraid of being alone, although that was a fear she quickly learned of when he was four and Lena was finally old enough to babysit. She had to leave early one night, leaving just John to take care of him so she could go to a friend’s birthday party. It was one of the few nights where only Merri needed babysitting, so she figured John could handle it.

But instead of saying a quick goodbye and heading out, she was weighed down by a thirty-one pound little boy. He’d cried, simply shaking his head and hugging her leg. Helplessly, she’d looked to John who just held up his hands and said “I don’t know!”. In the end, she had to cancel her plans and stay behind to make sure Merri wouldn’t throw a fit over it. And she honestly didn’t regret one bit of it.

Right here, though, wasn’t just Merri fearing loneliness or being left behind. It was fear of something in the future. She didn’t know why, he was six years old. He should only have to worry about when playtime was over and what color crayons he wanted to draw with. Why was he plagued with worries that shouldn’t infect him for years to come?

“Daddy left my mama.” He said, holding onto Lena tightly. “Mama’s like Kocoum.”

Lena felt like a weight was dropped on her chest. This boy, this small boy who curled into her for protection and held onto her for dear life, he needed someone who simply just loved him. Someone other than his mother, someone other than even Lena. He needed a friend.

“Merri, you aren’t going to end up like Kocoum, okay? There are people who love you.” She reasoned calmly.

“I know. Lotses of people love me. Like my mama, and you, and Eugene, and Andy, and Eddie...” Merri said matter-of-factly, still sniffling a little.  “But what if I love them more than they love me? Like Kocoum?”

“That won’t happen.” Lena stroked his back, letting him fidget around in her lap.

“But Eugene.” Merri mumbled, looking nervously at Lena and back at his hands.

“What about Eugene?”

“He loves Sid more than me.”

Lena paused for a moment at this. “Oh, honey, Eugene loves you whole bunches.”

“But he told me he was going to marry Sid one day.” Merri looked wide-eyed at Lena.

“That doesn’t mean he loves you any less.” Lena said.

“Really?”

“Really, really.” Lena assured. “And even if he stopped loving you, I’ll always love you best.” She pressed a kiss to Merri’s cheek, much to his disgust.

“Yuck, Lena!”

“Are you good to go, little man?”

“Can I have another cup of cocoa?”

“Race you to it.”

And with that, the tears for the night were gone.

 

When Louise got home that night, it was quiet. The Pocahontas menu was playing an instrumental on replay, and the light illuminated the puppy pile on the couch. Lena and John were bracketing the three boys in the middle, who were all fast asleep. The older kids were awake and talking quietly. Louise smiled as she entered the living room.

“Sorry I’m so late. Were there any problems?”

“Merriell had a small issue, but he was quick to move past it. You know how kids are.” Lena smiled. “You should ask him about it, though. I don’t want to step on any toes.”

Louise nodded.

“Thank you for watching the boys tonight.”

“Ma’am, it was our pleasure.” John said. “As always.”

Eugene snuffled from the couch, hitting Sid in the face with his hand. Sid pushed at him with his feet. Merriell just snored on, laying across the both of them.

Louise had never seen him sleep so peacefully.

**Author's Note:**

> And there we are!  
> So, if there's any characters you want to see more of, pairings (from the tags), ages...lemme know and I probably either have something ready or I'll get right on it!! Love you all !!
> 
> Fun fact: title of work is from Just Kids by Alex & Sierra


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